Wow, I don’t know how things are going to turn out BUT, it’s starting to get intense and it may come to a moment where I, feel I am forced, to project a less than warm image. Something could always come along to change that, but so far when these mash ups have been likely to occur they have done so on schedule.
So many girls have repeatedly shown interest in me then gone and slept with someone while we were still in the ‘dating’ stage. More than once it seems with revenge motivations. I’m just getting tired of it. But, it could be that it is going to happen, I dread it happening, and then it happens anyway, my interaction with girls does not happen in another way; or just, as has been the case for more than a decade, a general deliberately nasty vibe towards me from them. (Obviously with some valued exceptions).
So, turning my attention to music. my saviour. On this theme there is this song by the Eagles:
Youtube: “Wasted Time” by The Eagles (lyrics included) [Link]
Strange thing with the keyboard. It is an instrument I did not feel at all well doing. I felt separated from myself. But I love it as well. I theorise this is because there are no real strings. I do love the guitar and it connects me more than other instruments because I can feel the resonance inside myself.
Back to my personal situation though… I can always fight. Not of course with fists or weapons of any kind but there is another way to fight. That route could eventually lead me away from the people that I am surrounded with, and you know what? I probably deserve to have to fight, and it will deliver good results hopefully. But it’s not something that feels good.
Despite this situation with women clearly behaving in a very provable way. It is obviously likely that my behaviour is relevant although, I would note, when I have been put through the ringer by them and I have risen to the task, thus, “learning the lesson” the behaviour has not abated. So EVEN IF it is my own behaviour that is part of the problem, their behaviour will still be karmically met sometime soon if I am lucky.
This then is where I go to politics and… because when I give in from being able to solve the situation myself I suppose that’s where I go. I have told myself I will not go on politics at all this holiday, and it is the Conservative Party Conference. The big anti May mash up! It could deliver palpable change but I will not be looking at it. It will really be a test to see whether I can stay away from politics.
In it’s place I will be practicing guitar!